Tiptoes

Tiptoes leave no footprints whatsoever. Indeed it’s as shoddy as it gets. We can’t guarantee that you’ll even remember the plot once you put your toes out of the cinema.

TiptoesBlame it on the vague screenplay by Bill Weiner. Alas, you are left to keep guessing where the movie treads to and just a warning; you might have a migraine at the end of it.

Despite having a credible enough cast, it’s certainly unfortunate to inform that even the acting calibre wasn’t enough to save this farce of a film.

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Tiptoes (check out the Widescreen Edition) plays like a documentary on dwarfism, be prepared to be yawning at the lame dialogue too. Apparently, the whole world needs to be enlightened about small people; or do they really?

Matthew McConaughey plays Steven, the normal-sized fraternal twin to his dwarfed brother who is played by Gary Oldman (Rolfe). Steven’s the only one in his family who’s not small. When his girl friend, played by Kate Beckinsale (Carol), gets pregnant, he insists that she does not have the baby for fear that his offspring will get his family’s dwarf gene. Apparently, he’s afraid of the pain the child would face as it grows up.

Carol appears bewildered and asks innocently, “You mean little people hurt?” Oooh… what a line. See what I mean when I said lame dialogue? It just brings the whole movie to the ground. If you think that’s the end of it, you’re wrong; later on in the movie, Carol gets to fall in love with Rolfe. Now is that a stunner or what? We’re speechless.

Not even Oldman’s fairly convincing acting as a small human can save the doomed flick. Throughout the whole movie, he was on his knees as the good ‘ol dwarf who weirdly so has long arms. If science serves me right, the human anatomy is spread evenly, isn’t it?

We have a feeling that this lopsided movie plays as a tribute to little people, teaching us how to be more appreciative of them. Not that we’re complaining but the formula would have worked if the script wasn’t that goofed up and the actors, more cohesive. Oh well, I bet they were too busy tip toeing around half the time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7b9-7xaxlE

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