The Legend of Bagger Vance

Imagine sitting in a darkened theater as Jack Lemmon’s warm grandfatherly narrative voice washes over your completely anathesized body. That’s it. Ree-lax.

The Legend of Bagger VanceNow imagine Will Smith’s 1930s-era Magical Negro Character in The Legend of Bagger Vance helping Sad White Man Matt Damon get his main squeeze Adela back. Getting Slee-py. Now these two characters are slowly bonding across lines of class and race to help Sad White Man Matt Damon find happiness through the great game of… Golf.

Your eyelids are getting heavier, heav-ier, that’s it, just drift, drift off into the darkness…when you awake, you will be at peace, and 10 dollars poorer.

Thinky says: Massa’ Damon says I can takes me a nap.