Exit Wounds

It’s said that Steven Seagal has been in Fat Elvis mode for most of the 1990s.

Exit Wound

And it is true that pretty much all his movies since Under Siege have sucked. It’s also true that he is shooting guns more these days than he is karate chopping. And yeah, he is getting kind of chubby.

But he ain’t playing Vegas yet, and his new one Exit Wounds offers the discerning action fan some serious spine crunching, blood vessel exploding Ka-Pow! Yes, the plot and dialogue come from the same “no, it can’t be THAT stupid” imprint as thousands of other Bad Cop B-movies, but you knew that before you bought the ticket.

And if you didn’t, then don’t complain to me when Seagal blows up a helicopter in the first scene with his handgun to save the Vice-President from kidnappers. Or when DMX trips on his dialogue as a dot-com millionaire.

Or when Tom Arnold tries to be funny as an AM morning DJ. Just sit back and forget that there are even words; forget the very concept of “logic”; just put on your headphones and focus on the fast cars and the explosions and the karate and the guns and you will be one happy violence consuming camper.

Thinky says: Unplug your brain. Fully. Replace with bullet clip.