A Knight’s Tale

A Knight's Tale

But be warned: if you are looking for a straight and highly entertaining historical drama a la Gladiator – which was relatively accurate, visually spectacular and full of compelling characters – you are looking for sushi at your local pub.

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This is the Middle Ages as seen through the eyes of the dipsh*t producers at MTV, and the result is an unbearably long 132 minutes of laughable plot, wooden characters and dumb-ass dialogue. The egregious anachronisms are too many and too painful to count – although the Nike product placement takes the bitter cake – and the jousting action only barely quickens the pulse.

Heath Ledger plays a handsome young squire who wants to be the Rocky Balboa of 14th century France, and tries to score the comely Shannyn Sossamon as a soundtrack of Bowie, Clapton and Queen rocks the computer generated background. The contemporary slang inflected narrative voice of Geoffry Chaucer only serves to add insult to fatal injury.

Thinky says: Fill mine goblet with mead and accept thy punishment! Argh!